If motherhood were a job, and I was applying, I'm not sure I'd get a second interview

Yesterday the kids and I decided to take advantage of the sunshine (it's so fleeting this year!) and get outside for a little while. We spread our blanket on the grass outside the apartment and broke open a tub of sidewalk chalk to let our inner artists escape.

Amid the greens and pinks of hopscotch and other doodles, Reese noticed a small ant making its way across the pavement. She tried to jump on it, but, thanks to her not-quite-developed coordination, she missed repeatedly and each time the ant surged forward, determined to survive to march another day. Thinking to myself that this was a great moment to teach the value of life, I launched into a wonderful lecture about living things, how we are merely visiting their home when we step outside, that they are beautiful and we should respect and let them be. She contented herself with laying a large leaf over the ant, a lovely new 'home' that just happened to block him from view.

I was feeling pretty good about my parenting skills when something caught my eye and I turned my head to look at it. A big, black, hairy spider was creeping up the sidewalk towards us. In an reflex of horror and defense I snatched up a nearby sandal and sent him flying, unfortunately leaving a smear of spidery goo across the sidewalk in front of us.

Silence.

"Where's the spider, Mom?" Reese asked.

That's what her words said, her innocent blue eyes stared into my soul and said something far worse.

Hypocrite.

It was an awful dilemma, and I did the only thing I could.

I lied.

"Well, Sweetie, the spider decided to go for a walk. See?

He's probably headed home now, all the way down there."

Fake it 'til you make it, right?

Eight Months!

I'm 8 Months old today, and look what I can do. . .

I can sit up,

roll,

and army crawl,

I love to say 'la, la, la' and 'da, da, da'

I eat all sorts of solids now-

apples and pears,

peas and carrots,

sweet potatoes,

zucchini

and pieces of bread and graham crackers

that I can pick up myself!

I have two little teeth

that are just about to break through.

I love to give Mommy 'kisses',

love-bite Daddy's nose,

and Reese is my favorite friend.

I'm SO big!

Thank you!

Just had to tell everyone who commented on the "30" post that I loved reading what you had to say! You're full of great ideas, have your priorities in line, and I really look up to all of you. Not to mention reading your comments reminded me that I've always wanted to learn to play the cello. Don't know when that will happen, but it made me happy just remembering it.

(and, of course, I penciled it into my 'next thirty years list'! lol!)

Thank you all!

"Happiness is. . . "

According to Charlie Brown, it's a warm puppy, which I happen to absolutely agree with.

But in the mean time,

here are a few things that make me happy-

My garden:

Look- it's actually growing! Hooray!!!

The steal I found at DI last week :

"Granny" suitcases (as Ryan dubbed them) for Reese's dress-ups-

could we possibly love that polka dot interior ANY more?!

And this cookbook:

I have loved every Giada recipe I've ever tried, and now, after borrowing the book from my mother a few weeks ago, I'm cooking my way through this little gem. Everything we've tried so far has been awesome!

The Turkey Meatloaf w/ Feta and Sundried Tomato is our official favorite meatloaf EVER,

and that's saying something because since it happens to be one of Ryan's favorite meals, we've tried out a lot of recipes.

also have to recommend the Pea Pesto Crostini- delish!

Can't wait to try the rest of the lineup!

Mmm. So happy.

The Greatest Hunt of All!

For Easter we decided to go up to Pocatello to visit Ryan's Grandma, and we had a great weekend with her.

We must be a 'real' family now, because we took the o-fficial Easter Best pictures for the first time this year. I think all that was missing were the dainty hat and gloves for Reese. Am I right in assuming all my fellow children of the 80's were hatted and gloved for these pictures, just like me?

Anyway, I LOVE seeing the sibling-ness already coming out in these two munchkins!

The best part is, Sam is so thrilled Reese pays attention to him, he doesn't care WHAT she's doing! :)

Then is was time for a little lunch before we had the big egg hunt, but as I was feeding Sam I had a little deja vu of a few Easters before. . .

Same chair, and almost the same spoon even!!

Anyway, now for 'the hunt'. I have to say that this has been one of the most exciting holidays for me in a while. I had SO much fun getting all the eggs ready and hiding them throughout the yard. It reminded me of when I was little and my grandparents used to hide hundreds of eggs in the woods in front of their house for all the grandkids to find. It was a sugary Easter WONDERLAND and I loved it so much I made Ry promise we'll do it someday for our own kids.

I can't wait!!

Ok, enough reminiscing, time to see Reese's haul- quite a nice one considering she was the only one hunting. :)

We had to coach her for about 5 minutes before she found this one- it was just above eye-level and we were cracking up by the time she finally got it.

(Ha! No pun intended!)

A couple of good-lookin' guys enjoying the sunshine

The basket was overflowing. . .

And, of course, Reese was thrilled. . .

. . . especially when she discovered that Grandma Badger had filled some of the eggs with pennies and nickels- a HUGE hit!

As we gobbled up the chocolate, Sam enjoyed more sunshine and didn't know what he was missing,

and everyone had a great time!

Let's Talk 30.

I mentioned yesterday that the idea of turning thirty next year has sort of parked itself in the forefront of my mind over the last while. And it has. . . bordering on the obsessive. I know lots of people who freak out at the very thought of thirty because the idea of getting older is a horrifying one. I don't care so much that I'm going to start looking older or that there's a new number starting off my age after this. I'm reminded of an amazing mission companion I had while I was in the MTC. She was exactly what I needed, and I'll tell you why. Weeks before we left the country we were talking about all the French food with anticipation, and I expressed my determination to 'not get fat'. She looked at me and laughed and said, "But eating chocolate and pastries is happy fat, and that kind doesn't count!" My stressed-out self needed her easy-going nature more than I think she ever knew.

That's what I'm thinking when it comes to wrinkles. Just like the poundage from Parisian pastries is inevitable (ooh- lovin' the alliteration!), wrinkles are bound to happen. So I'm thinking why not embrace it and go for happy wrinkles? I plan to wear my face out with smiles and laughter and be one of those cute old ladies whose eyes crinkle up at the corners and you just want to squish because you can't help but love them instantly.

Anyway, back to the original point; the physical aging isn't what I'm obsessing over. It's more the fact that I feel like I should have my life all figured out and this overwhelming need to feel incredibly accomplished when I say goodbye to my twenties. I couldn't even tell you what I define 'accomplished' as at the moment. Besides that, the problem is this: I'm a hopeless over-achiever and a perfectionist to boot, and that means that the list of "To-Do Before I'm Thirty" fills almost four pages. Hmm. I have a feeling this won't all cram into less than a year. When he saw my ten-foot scroll last night, Ryan was sweet enough to point out that I'm sort of expecting myself to have accomplished a lifetime of goals in half the time it takes and, despite the energetic enthusiasm, maybe I should re-evaluate my ambitions.

Hence the dilemma, and hence the thinking. So that's where I am: re-evaluating my ambitions and wondering what it is I 'need' to do to feel like I can look back with no regrets.

As of right now I don't know, but I'm enjoying taking stock and trying to figure it out.

I'd love to hear your thoughts- I know there are a few of you that have been there done that, and others who haven't yet but will join me in the near future.

Thoughts anyone???

Oh the Neglect!!!

I know our following is small and we mostly write for ourselves, but I have to admit that the shame of nearly two months of neglect has been hanging over me for days now and despite times when I could have written, I continued to put it off. But no more! I'm shedding this shroud of guilt and returning happily, albeit dramatically, to the business of recounting little nothings and promoting banter on the blog.

(Phew! Sure is nice to have that confrontation over with- I've been dreading it for weeks!)

Alright, now for more difficulty- where in the world do I start? I know I ought to play catch up here and tell you about all the hilarious things our children have been up to 'cause, let's face it, we know why most of you actually read this. Things like, yes, Sam has turned into quite the army crawler/holy roller the last month or so, or Reese interrupted a 'discussion' (read: fight) Ry and I were having last night in the car to poke her head in between our two hot ones and whisper, "Pssst! Hey guys, can I watch a movie?" Of course we laughed and the tension was broken and we forgot all about what we were upset about. That would be just one of many great things I ought to take this returning post to share with you, but I'm not going to. I'm going to talk about something else.

The Patience Project.

A few weeks ago I read the most amazing talk given by a leader of our church named Elder Robert C. Oaks entitled The Power of Patience. Ryan and I both were ripe and ready for this one, seeing as how most of the last year or more of our lives have been one killer (sometimes in a good sense, sometimes not so much) lesson in the P-word.

Waiting.

There has been so much of it, and though I'm SO ready to be done, here we are still at it. To be honest, our last year in Logan has been one of huge struggle for our little family, but looking back I'm seriously in awe at all that we have learned and how much we have grown and, particularly, how much the Lord has blessed and taught us. For all my writings on this cute little blog, I don't seem to share a whole lot of what is in my innermost heart, and I think I want to change that. Maybe it's the looming 'I'm turning 30!' on the horizon (more on that to come), or that I am realizing a desire to open up more than I have over the last few years with those around me; it might be the overwhelming need I've always felt to document the important times of life and get the lessons we learn down on paper for posterity. Whatever it is, I'll share a few thoughts with you.

So, here we are, a year after Ryan's graduation from BYU in a very similar situation: applying for jobs, waiting, waiting, waiting to hear back from them, and hoping hoping, hoping for something amazingly wonderful to happen. :)

But here's the great thing: I am a completely different person now than I was twelve months ago. Wanna know why?

-I've never been closer to my amazing husband.

-Our testimonies of the Gospel of Jesus Christ are stronger than ever because we have had a multitude of opportunities to put it into action.

-I love being a mother of two little munchkins more than I ever thought possible, and, amazingly (especially on the crazier days), I would not go back in time to postpone our family while we got 'it all' figured out. I never knew I could feel such highs in the midst of turmoil and adversity in the form of little arms and tiny toothless grins. I love being a mommy!

-Asking for patience and faith is a dangerous game because if you do ask you're very likely to find yourself with a case study or two (or more) to acquire them. But here's the great part- something I'm constantly amazed at, being the perfectionist that I am- tiny, daily, imperfect efforts actually bring about incredible results! The Lord somehow takes our menial effort and transforms it into something dynamic and powerful and life-changing. And we not only make it through the hard times, we come out stronger and more like Him. Like I said, it's amazing.

There are lots of other things bouncing around in my head as I'm clicking away here, but I think I'm going to stop there because I'm trying to simplify my life this year, and do things out of the ordinary and cutting myself short is definitely both of those. ;)

I'll catch you all very soon since there are scads of pics and tidbits of news and funny little anecdotes to be caught up on, not to mention the exciting discussion of our book club coming up in a few weeks. Huzzah for not procrastinating anymore!!

When Elephants Weep

So... We kinda fell off the bandwagon with this whole book club thing. I blame it on the fact that we couldn't get our hands on the Autobiography of David Crockett, darn Providence Library. April went in kind of a blur with a combination of house guests (who we were very happy to see) and major event coordination at work. So now here we are in May and we are climbing back onto the bandwagon, so to speak. We will start again with a new book. For any of you that are wondering about our lives, don't fret, we will be getting back to writing about the exploits of the Badger Clan soon. Anyway, the book this month (for anyone interested) is...

This book is kind of a departure as it is non-fiction and a New York Times Bestseller. Both Molly and I have yet to read this book but we look forward to it and if you decide to read along we hope you will like it too. Let the reading begin, we will discuss the last week of May.