Saturday, June 4, 2011

A question for the pickle stork




We cruised the aisles of Wal-mart the other night with a hankering for pickles. We're particular about our pickles, though; kosher dills must be eaten only alongside deli-style subs and 'poh-boys', sweet midgets are only right at Grandma's- sliced into slim halves and arranged in a crystal bowl, and bread and butters are the pickle for all seasons, to be consumed anytime anywhere.

Of course, having no sandwiches on hand and finding ourselves miles away from Grandma's, we were looking for the favorite bread and butter only to encounter a conundrum. I see chips, spears, and sandwich stackers. . . but where are the whole bread and butters? Surely all these pickle bits came from a whole pickle at one time or another! Why are they holding back? Have the effects of this rocky economy extended to the world of condiments? Are we experiencing the first-ever cucumber shortage and pickle ration? Or maybe it's the latest terrorist plot intended to decimate American morale?

Unless. . . well, here's the slightly more reasonable solution.

Far away on a special farm, bread and butter pickles are simply 'born' or dropped in neatly packaged white bundles from the sky to happy harvesters who anxiously await news of whether they were blessed with a tiny chip or stacker. They don't question the way nature works, so why should we? Be grateful, eat the spear, and move on.


I need a hobby. I've been spending way to much time thinking about this! However, if any of you do know where to find a whole bread and butter pickle, I'd sure appreciate the tip.


4 comments:

Kathy Badger said...

You crack me up!!!!!

Lemonpeel said...

Smith's in Provo Molly, there are shelves and shelves of them...they are calling for you. :) seriously though, I went to pick up some stackers (I get the whole jar to myself, you know how Kyle is about them) and all they had were the chips and big ol' fat whole ones.

Looks like both of us were in similar predicaments. I opted for the chips, some bread and butter pickles are better than no bread and butter pickles, right? I LOVE THEM.

Molly said...

Bless you! I'm totally going to Smiths tonight. :) I hope they're as good as Provo.
Sad about Kyle and pickles- oh how much he misses!- but I have to say I envy your complete and total reign over the jar. They go SO fast in our house! :)

Lisa said...

Had to comment! Pickles are the best and I'm with you, find me the whole ones!!
Mom