Hilarious Breakup

I know I've been talking an awful lot about zucchini lately, but I was just looking through a few fun food blogs, and happened upon this 'breakup letter'. It got me laughing so hard, that I thought surely there were more than a few of you who could relate with my friend 'Cream Puff'. For what to do with your lingering zucchini and other great recipes, check out her blog at:

http://www.creampuffsinvenice.ca/

Dear Zucchini,

I’m sorry to have to do this to you in such a public manner, but you leave me no choice.
I have tried to let you down gently, but you just don’t seem to be getting the message. At first, I thought that if I just ignored you, you’d understand. But you didn’t. I tried leaving you in the refrigerator, but you insisted. I withheld water, but you kept coming. I even left you for three whole weeks, without any contact, and still you were there.

I don’t know any other way to do this but to send you this letter in the hopes that you will finally hear what I’m saying:

It’s over.

Yes, it’s true, things were great in the beginning. You were so fresh and green, the only plant thriving in a garden of that had, up until that point, been bare.
You were sweet, Zucchini. You were. You were always waiting for me when I got home from work and on weekends, you filled me.
I don’t deny it.

But Zucchini, you’re too much. You don’t know when to stop. You put too much pressure on me. You, I could handle. But then your family started arriving, and your extended family, and your friends … what was I supposed to do with all of you?

Look, I thought that going to Italy for three weeks would be the answer. I thought that during that time, left alone to your own devices (and no water), you’d understand that you couldn’t crowd my space.

How was I supposed to know that it would rain for the entire summer? How was I supposed to know that while the rest of the garden slowly began its inevitable decline, you would still be inviting your zucchini relatives over? How was I supposed to know you’d live so long?

Please don’t take this the wrong way. I will always think you’re beautiful and there will always be a part of me that loves you.

But right now, it’s all about the tomatoes. They’re plump and juicy.
You’re not.

Goodbye, Zucchini. It was fun while it lasted. Call me next summer. Maybe we can hook up again.


Yours truly,

Cream Puff